ugh.. my stomach

sometimes happiness is found in relief. Sometimes there is just a pain that keeps bothering you and everything done is to relieve that pain.


o f' my stomach hurts. i'm trying to write an essay about happiness but it's hard when you don't feel happy, and even harder when you feel like ur just gunna curl up and ..ugh.

Something i was thinking of, i think it may actually come out as a poem, thatd be nice:


It kills me a little everytime i lie to you.
It kills me a little inside.

When i say that i can't go with u,
when i lie about my reasons.

When i see your face,
I can't hate you,
but when i think,
It's hard not to.

I lied about why i didn't go with your posse to the dance.
I told you it was because of friends.
When it really,
was because of you.

I didn't want to see your face.
I don't think i could've survived a night like that.

I would have tried avoiding you the entire time.
wishing that you were still mine.

I would have hid my thoughts in someone else.
I would have hid you from view with someone else.

So that's why i didn't go with you.
That's why I went with a bunch of strangers.
That's why.

For that, I'm sorry.

fucking idiot

wow, my friend thinks that i take his friends from him. he thinks that i'm friends with him so that i can be friends with his friends. omg. he's the one that's doing that. He is constantly hanging out with my friends now. so much that i cant hang out with em. Everytime im hanging out with my friends and hes there it feels like he wants me to leave so he can hang out with my friends. and hes accusing me of doing that exact thing. what the fuck. I havnt become friends with anyone through him. he has become friends with so many people through me. he's such a fucking idiot. and dude, if u find this, all the better. and dont fucking go telling me that im too afraid to tell u this directly. it took me awhile to realize but ur such a fucking idiot for accusing me of those things. ur the one whos taking my friends. i honestly have no clue why i hang out with you.