ingenious or eccentric?

if you look close you can see that the car doors are locked by a cable running through the handles and a combination lock holding them together. Amazing huh?

why'd i do it again

why do i keep falling for this, for you


haha, this seems really cliche but i wrote a song/something that came to mind. honestly, i got the idea from that academy is... song, checkmarks but anyway, heregoes:

you decide to go back to my house
take me to my bedroom
get me outa my clothes

you say don't tell anyone
your afraid of what they'll think!
Don't tell anyone, your just using me, I'm just another tool
just use me and throw me away,
throw me away like you used to, like you do everytime

your afraid of what they'll think!

graduation is soon

it kind of makes me sad that everyone else is sad about highschool ending soon. they are sad that they will never see some people again or that they will be leaving all this behind. The part that makes me sad is that i don't feel any sadness about leaving it behind. i feel like i'm ready for the new life. i dont really have any attachment to any of my friends, well, at least not that much anyway. i don't feel like i'll feel anything after i leave. i'll just make new friends and in all probability forget these ones. this is the part that makes me sad.

the reason i don't feel this attachment though is because i've never really had any really good friends anywhere i went. no one that i actually stayed friends with after i left the school. i've gotten used to it. everytime i changed schools, which was too often, i just made new friends and forgot the old ones. the fact that i do this and the fact that it doesnt bother me to leave all these people behind is what saddens me. and these are great people too, if i could be friends with them for the rest of my life i probably would but the fact that i probably wont really doesnt bother me. in a way this scares me.

ugh.. my stomach

sometimes happiness is found in relief. Sometimes there is just a pain that keeps bothering you and everything done is to relieve that pain.


o f' my stomach hurts. i'm trying to write an essay about happiness but it's hard when you don't feel happy, and even harder when you feel like ur just gunna curl up and ..ugh.

Something i was thinking of, i think it may actually come out as a poem, thatd be nice:


It kills me a little everytime i lie to you.
It kills me a little inside.

When i say that i can't go with u,
when i lie about my reasons.

When i see your face,
I can't hate you,
but when i think,
It's hard not to.

I lied about why i didn't go with your posse to the dance.
I told you it was because of friends.
When it really,
was because of you.

I didn't want to see your face.
I don't think i could've survived a night like that.

I would have tried avoiding you the entire time.
wishing that you were still mine.

I would have hid my thoughts in someone else.
I would have hid you from view with someone else.

So that's why i didn't go with you.
That's why I went with a bunch of strangers.
That's why.

For that, I'm sorry.

fucking idiot

wow, my friend thinks that i take his friends from him. he thinks that i'm friends with him so that i can be friends with his friends. omg. he's the one that's doing that. He is constantly hanging out with my friends now. so much that i cant hang out with em. Everytime im hanging out with my friends and hes there it feels like he wants me to leave so he can hang out with my friends. and hes accusing me of doing that exact thing. what the fuck. I havnt become friends with anyone through him. he has become friends with so many people through me. he's such a fucking idiot. and dude, if u find this, all the better. and dont fucking go telling me that im too afraid to tell u this directly. it took me awhile to realize but ur such a fucking idiot for accusing me of those things. ur the one whos taking my friends. i honestly have no clue why i hang out with you.