a few weeks ago i told my girlfriend (at the time) that i would stop drinking and smoking for her, but then we broke up. that hurt alot. i smoked that weekend. And quitting drinking isn't going to happen anymore. I really wanted to too, but not really for me but for her. Now, there doesn't really seem to be a point. i really couldn't care less about the thigns that happen to me while im drunk, i'm pretty responsible about it anyway.
i miss having a girlfriend, and i miss her being my girlfriend. I miss being able to hug her and hold her. I miss hanging out with her and i miss the connection there was.
Now, we barely hang out and we barely talk. it's made me so depressed lately and apparently ive been bringing other people down. I really don't want anyone else to feel bad so i've stopped acting depressed and put my smiling face back on. It still hurts inside though.
I allmost broke into tears the other day when i heard how much my looking depressed has hurt her. i wish we had never broken up and that there was never a reason for us to break up.
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